Slightly More Gainful

Well I finally got hired somewhere.  YAY!  I am working for Mosaic merchandising.  I have picked up two jobs from them.  Well one, and possibly another one.  Talked to my favorite non stalking victim yesterday.  Things are aok :)

Is it all falling apart

I've tried to keep a very positive attitude about the whole getting fired thing, and I've had great people behind me, but now at every turn I feel frustrated and its taking its toll on so many things, my eating, by sleeping, my stress levels.  I had an interview with Cingular, that didn't go well, clearly.  I had an interview with Target and was offered a job almost immediately, which was great, except it was for $7.25 an hour.  Riiiiight.  I guess that should make me feel good that I was offered the job almost immediately, but I just am not looking at it that way right now.

And then theres the Doc issue.  I know he's busy.  He's been sweet about keeping in touch here and there since he left.  No better or no worse than he was before, which I guess is heartening.  Hypothetically that means things haven't gotten worse for him.  I know he's hella busy these days.  I just could use someone to lean on.  By god that bed is empty feeling lately...

Don't know what the hell to call this

The reality of my life is wearing on me a little.  I had a great couple of days and of course lost my heart a little bit more in the process.  I also came close to losing someone who's been very good to me over the years.  I am not really sure what to do with any of this other than I guess I need to verbalize what an idiot that I feel like about so many things, about how empty I feel again... please tell me I'm not completely stupid... and alone... again.

Lost

Loser!

Boys and girls, children of all ages, I am officially jobless as far as Baptist Memorial Hopsital, Collierville is concerned.  I of course got fired on Friday afternoon of last week.  I am really broken up about it too.  I am still mulling over what I am going to say in the email in my head.  I figure I am going to write a lovely email to my boss about what working for her was really like... not that I think she'll understand.  However maybe copying it to a few key people in the organization will help them understand what has been going on.  Initially I wanted to copy it to the people in my department too, but then I realized that I don't care what they think.  Apparently since so many of my issues at work were due to what they were saying to the "bosses".  The advantage of being there when the boss is there I guess as opposed to being literally in the dark all the time.

On a positive front, I did my first full day of work for that Doctor yesterday.  I figure that I will start looking for a job on Monday.  Got a week of vacation basically.  That works for me.

Its raining brine shrimp!

I am an idiot

Wow so much going on at one time!  One I'm an idiot so I apologize to anyone who's actually read my tragic downbeat entries lately, and to the person they may... or may not have been aimed  at ;).

I have another "interview" with a doc at work about becoming his PA.  Wish me luck.  How awesome would that be?  I've been in a really good positive mood since our conversation yesterday so hopefully that will keep up.  YAY!

Omission

Main Entry: omission
Function: noun
Text: something left out <the disk contains a selection of deleted scenes, and a couple of the omissions greatly add to the intelligibility of the movie's plot>
Synonyms deletion
Related words elimination; blank, skip; lapse, slip; deduction, reduction, subtraction
Near Antonyms inclusion; accretion, accrual, addendum, addition, augmentation, boost, gain, increase, increment, raise, rise, supplement

Main Entry: omis·sion
Function: noun
Pronunciation: O-'mi-sh&n, &-
Etymology: Middle English omissioun, from Late Latin omission-, omissio, from Latin omittere
1 a : something neglected or left undone b : apathy toward or neglect of duty
2 : the act of omitting : the state of being omitted

______

Ok so omission isn't technically a lie by Miriam Webster in either the dictionary or the thesaurus.  So why is it when people omit the truth, or give you half truth it hurts so damn much?

I have tried to be honest.  Too honest.  Honest to a point that I clearly run people off.  There's only so much "I've just been really busy" that you can take.  I know I have done the same thing, when I had stress in my life, but then don't tell me that YOU're better than that.  You're better than the other people I've had before and you wouldn't do anything like that.

I gave a fair explanation... it was just two years late.  Am I waiting two years for yours?