Odd Odder Oddest

Well, I keep saying that I need to stay away from him, i need to find some other way to occupy my time... that he's no good for me, and where am I?  Home, alone on Saturday night on the phone well i was on the phone til he hung up on me thinking I was typing in the room.  Oh well.  Better this way.  I am so tired of hearing about the girl he loves so much that is using the hell out of him.  Anyone with half an eye on the situation would see that.  If he calls back I am so not answering it.  Let the friggen phone ring all night if it has to.

He might call back if he feels that I think he's important enough... thats too funny to me.  I have let him be far too important in my life as it is.  I just wish I could be as strong about this as I was with John.  I don't know why he gets under my skin so damn much.

I need to move on... I just can't quite bring myself to... to deny him... to make him go away...  I could keep him gone if I wanted to I think.  If it came down to it and I really told him all the crap that goes on in my head with him, but I don't know that I want to right now.  Mind you if I found someone to be with real time that would be different.  As it stands now... hell I don't know.  Probably the only reason I am so deadset on him is I think that I might be able to make some kind of impression, of difference, maybe even a positive one on his life.  That maybe we could both work through some of our trust problems...  But I don't know that I would ever really trust him.  Hell half the time I don't think I'll ever fully trust anyone.  I am still trying to figure out if maybe thats better.  He sent me the song I am listening to... its so me its eerie... had me in tears when I heard it, and read the lyrics to it.

Talking to the "married chick" and looking stuff for my Aunt... he came on briefly, probably to see if I was still on... I have a feeling this is going to be a long night, but I am going to cut the online part of it short soon.  I will write more soon... just not in the mood right now.